It came to me that it is not about Closure, it is Freedom, for her.
Perhaps I do not heal like others, or at all.
Heavy words like Loss are supposed to be followed by the equally heavy Closure in some kind of weight transfer on an invisible set of scales.
I cannot embrace Closure, but her Spirit deserves Freedom.
* * *
This is what I wrote early Saturday morning. I then poured some of Sarrah’s Ashes on the paper and carefully folded it.
Saturday March First Two Thousand Fourteen I walked alone down to the beach for a sunny solitary moment with the 0.9 low tide and ocean breeze.
A lone seagull showed up and quietly watched and waited with me for waves to come and wash over.
Sarrah loved it near the dunes so I’d planned to release some of her ashes here and found a surprise (a gift) near our usual trail end. A driftwood bench has appeared since my last visit, so I put some near it.
I sat on the bench to enjoy the view and absorb the moment.
When I got up to leave an Eagle appeared on the beach and stood guard.
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So sad. So touching. So beautifully written. Closure? I think sometimes it is a myth. We can tie things up, think they are neatly done, but in truth, with loss, with grief, they continue to exist. I do hope you find a healing place.
Thank You
your words touched my heart….
I hope that’s a good thing.
I began writing about Sarrah to help myself and started sharing for a few reasons, hopefully some good comes from it.
She was such a beautiful dog. They really do become a part of us, and I am sorry for your loss.
Thank You
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Beautiful…one day on a beach after losing my best friend it hit me hard, floods of tears just came and from nowhere a seagull came and perched on a rock right near me, as I moved ahead the sea gull moved to another rock near me and then again, the tears shut off and the seagull went on about its business…I’m glad these gifts were there for you that very special day 🙂
Thanks
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Very touching…. and very beautiful. I have lost a few very special dogs… and people… and I agree with one of the others, that closure never really comes… so, I’m glad you are focusing on freedom instead. We never really forget a great dog… or any loved one that we lose… we just learn to live with the loss… and, find other positive things to focus on so we can keep moving forward, as our loved ones would want us to do. For me, that usually involves rescuing another dog… I believe that Sarah is free… and, I hope that you find that freedom too.
It’s funny – I wrote about freedom once too, in the context of walking my dog… not about losing her… but, about the leash and all… it’s here, if interested: http://samanthamariahjane.wordpress.com/2009/10/07/a-taste-of-freedom/
Thank you
Freedom is special, in all of its forms
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